We’re in the middle of summer and it’s officially “Flewed Out Season”. Every year around this time, a fly-out story gone wrong goes viral on Twitter. For those of you not familiar with the term “fly-out”, it can be classified as a trip in which a person pays for another person to travel by plane to see them. The concept sounds simple enough but for some, it’s unknown territory and can be complicated. But it doesn’t have to be. So in an attempt to help you avoid temporary homelessness, abandonment, and embarrassment, I’ve compiled 6 very simple tips for a successful fly-out experience. 

Do Your Due Diligence

Although flying long distance to see your lover is not a foreign concept, these days this is how some relationships start. In an era of internet dating and swiping right on apps, domestic and international travel has become a very common way for people to meet in-person for the very first time. Some have been communicating for years and others for months. Hell, I’ve flown out to meet someone a week after meeting them on FaceTime (a story that will have to wait for my YouTube channel lol). No matter how long you’ve been verbally communicating with someone, it’s extremely important to vet them. We’ve all seen enough Catfish episodes to know that video-chatting and Google should be your best friends when getting to know someone long distance. Search for criminal records and anything else you can dig up. If you ever get a bad feeling or something starts to not add up, cease communication and do not take that trip. Your safety is paramount.

Gauge Expectations

Once you’ve established your person is who they say they are and you two agree to meet up, now is the time to get on the same page. There are many unspoken implications that people assume when they are paying for you to come see them. Whether it be where you’re going to stay, financial responsibility once there, or level of physical intimacy, coming to a meeting of the minds is best practice. Speak candidly and come to an agreement that both of you are comfortable with. The last thing you want to do is get on a plane to meet someone and feel unsafe, pressured or awkward when you get there. Go in with your eyes open!

Have Emergency Funds and a Plan B

(not the pill, but no judgement lol)

Now I know this seems like common sense but what have I said about common sense before? Right. Every year a story pops up on Twitter about someone who got flewed out and stranded for one reason or another. Let be honest for a moment. People switch up. Sometimes, for reasons unknown to us. You don’t want to be on the receiving end of someone changing their mind about you and leaving you assed out. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT go anywhere broke! Have emergency funds in place as well as a back up plan. In the event that you feel a situation is becoming potentially disastrous or dangerous, having your own money and an exit plan will enable you to get your own hotel room or plane ticket back home.

Leave Bread Crumbs

If you haven’t noticed, most of these tips are about your safety. This tip is no different. I know many of you are private and don’t like people “in your business” but now is not the time to be secretive. You don’t have to tell the world but think of at least one person you trust with your life and you can confide in. I have two, my mother and my best friend. I tell them anytime I’m flying out to meet someone or flying out with someone. They need to know where I am and who I’m with for my safety and their peace of mind. I suggest you find that one person and give them your flight and accommodation information. Also consider sharing your location with them when you reach your destination as an added precaution. 

Gas Yourself Up

Get all of your self-care and hygiene things in order. Pack clothes that will make you feel like a million bucks. You want to feel and look your absolute best when you meet your person. Pray. And if you don’t pray, meditate. Do whatever you need to do to put yourself in a positive headspace. You’ll need it once you get to your destination. 

Enjoy… But Shine Your Eye!

Your trip is here and it’s time for you to enjoy your getaway. You’ve finally made it to see your Prince(ss) and you may want to let your guard down. And please do so, but SHINE YOUR EYE! The expression “shine your eye” is something many of my Nigerian friends say when they feel I need to pay close attention to a situation. I want you to have an amazing experience but the Capricorn in me is always assessing what is right in front of me and I urge you to do the same. Limit the time you spend on your phone and be as present as possible. Try to keep a positive attitude and be on your best, or worst ;), behavior. Who knows? If sparks fly, this could be the first of many bae-cations!

If you have fly-out stories, tips, or questions for our community, please leave them in the comments below. Thanks for reading. Ciao!